Babe is Laying Down the Law

Babe tells me now, that if I go on the adventure, she will cheat on me. And she has made it very clear that I am not to even talk about it. So I guess that's all she wrote, folks. There will be no adventure, apparently! I'm whipped to Babe and I will never travel to LA and NYC to become a star and a god! I will just live here at home in Davison and eat Taco Bell and Jet's whenever I want and have incendiary sex with the world's most beautiful women so many times a day I feel like a squeezed orange! I'll just live my life from this shed and hide from the hardships that come with a great adventure! I'll do exactly what Babe says, at all times, and I will massage her feet and I will brush her hair! I'm a vagina now, folks! The adventure is canceled!

Not.

No, you will not cheat on me, Babe. You will support me in trying to better myself and in trying to find new avenues on which I can reach greater success through my passions and life's meaning. You will support me, and YOU WILL NOT CHEAT ON ME. Or else, Babe. Or else. I love you more than anything you could ever imagine, my magnanimous black haired beauty, and there's nothing I want more than for you to come over tonight and let me pound you like a gorilla. But I will be going on this adventure, Babe. You're a nobody until you do Los Angeles, and you've gotta do Los Angeles before you can even think New York City. It's a progression, Babe. And I've made it far enough to where I'm not turning back. I'm Chicago legit, a Key West secret, and a Seattle leader.

But I'm not a star yet, Babe... I'm not a god...

So come over every night babe, as much as you can, until I leave in a couple of months.

Kiss me gently, and love me softly.